Love Beyond Naiveté and Romance

By Ronald Rolheiser

Deat friends one of my friend's named Jayaraj Arulappan, send me this mail and I thought it would really tigger our minds so here I am posting it to you. Read it and think over it. 

Several years ago, a Presbyterian minister I know challenged his congregation to open its doors and its heart more fully to the poor. The congregation initially responded with enthusiasm and a number of programs were introduced that actively invited people from the less-privileged economic areas of the city, including a number of street-people, to come to their church.

But the romance soon died as coffee cups and other loose items began to disappear, some handbags were stolen, and the church and meeting space were often left messy and soiled. A number of the congregation began to complain and demand an end to the experiment: "This isn't what we expected! Our church isn't clean and safe any more!  We wanted to reach out to these people and this is what we get! This is too messy to continue!" 

But the minister held his ground, pointing out that their expectations were naïve, that what they were experiencing was precisely part of the cost of reaching out to the poor, and that Jesus assures us that loving is unsafe and messy, not just in reaching out to the poor but in reaching out to anyone.

We like to think of ourselves as gracious and loving, but, the truth be told, that is predicated on an overly-naïve and overly-romanticized notion of love. We don't really love as Jesus invites us to when he says: Love each other as I have loved you! The tail-end of that sentence contains the challenge: Jesus doesn't say, love each other according to the spontaneous movements of your heart; nor, love each other as society defines love, but rather: Love each other as I have loved you!

And, for the most part, we haven't done that:

·       We haven't loved our enemies, nor turned the other cheek and reached out to embrace those who hate us. We haven't prayed for those who oppose us.

·       We haven't forgiven those who hurt us, nor forgiven those who have murdered our loved ones. We haven't, in the midst of being hurt, asked God to forgive the very people who are hurting us because they are not really cognizant of what they are doing.

·       We haven't been big-hearted and taken the high-road when we've been slighted or ignored, nor at those times have we let understanding and empathy replace bitterness and our desire to withdraw. We haven't let go of our grudges.

·       We haven't let ourselves be vulnerable to the point of risking humiliation and rejection in our offers of love. We haven't given up our fear being misunderstood, of not looking good, of not appearing strong and in control. We haven't set out barefooted, to love without security in our pockets.

·       We haven't opened our hearts enough to imitate Jesus' universal, non-discriminating embrace, nor have we been able to stretch our hearts to see everyone as brother or sister, regardless of race, colour, or religion. We haven't stopped nursing the silent secret that our own lives and the lives of our loved ones are more precious than those of the rest of the world.

·       We haven't made a preferential option for the poor, haven't brought the poor to our tables, and haven't yet abandoned our propensity to be with the attractive and the influential.

·       We haven't sacrificed ourselves fully to the point of losing everything for the sake of others. We haven't ever really laid down our lives for our friends - nor, especially, for our enemies.  We haven't been willing to die for the very people who oppose us and are trying to crucify us.

·       We haven't loved with pure intention in our hearts, without somehow seeking ourselves within our relationships. We haven't let our hearts be broken rather than, however subtly, violate someone else.

·       We haven't walked in patience, giving others the full space they need to relate to us according to their own inner dictates. We haven't been willing to patiently sweat blood in order to be faithful. We haven't waited in patience, in God's good-time, for God's judgement on right and wrong.

·       We haven't resisted our natural urge to judge others, to not impute motives. We haven't left judgment to God.

·       Finally, not least, we haven't loved and forgiven ourselves, knowing that no mistake we make stands between us and God. We haven't trusted God's love enough to always begin anew inside of God's infinite mercy.

·       We haven't loved as Jesus loved.

After his wife, Raissa, died, Jacques Maritain edited a book of her journals. In the Preface of that book he describes her struggle with the illness that eventually killed her. Severely debilitated and unable to speak, she struggled mightily in her last days. Her suffering both tested and matured Maritain's own faith. Mightily sobered by seeing his wife's sufferings, he wrote: “Only two kinds of people think that love is easy: saints, who through long years of self-sacrifice have made a habit of virtue, and naïve persons who don't know what they're talking about.”

The wedding.         Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiancé, Nick, 23. This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy. Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions...     Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of every single part of the wedding planning. Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie 's constant weight loss.     An expected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception. The other couple in this picture is Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.     Katie , in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.   In the middle of the party, Katie had to rest for a bit and catch her breath. The pain does not allow her to stand for long period of time.     Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as bride with a beautiful smile makes you think... happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts..... lets enjoy life and don't live a complicated life. Life is too short.   Work as if it was your first day. Forgive as soon as possible. Love without boundaries... Laugh without control and never stop smiling. Please pray for those suffering from cancer. We all have close to our heart. Keep this going. Prayers are always answered.

  

FORGIVENESS

1. I know i'm not a perfect friend,
You're broken heart, i've tried to mend.
Instead i made you hurt and cry,
Maybe i should say goodbye.
Would it be better for me to go?,
I asked you, and you said "No".
Why say no when i hurt you so bad,
But believe me, 
you're not the only one that's sad.
I made my best friend hurt like mad,
If i left would you be glad?.
Deep in my heart, 
I'll always know,
I'll love you always,
Even if i go!

- Chrissie

2. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

- Thomas Szasz

3. The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it's not because they forget; it's because they forgive.

- Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal

4. It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger person to forgive.

- Unknown

5. Forgiving is not forgetting. It's letting go of the hurt.

- Kathy

6. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

- Gandhi

7. I don't forgive people cause I'm weak
I forgive them cause I'm strong enough
to understand people make mistakes.

- heidi

8. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- Pamela Daranjo

9. A little girl was asked what forgiveness is...

She gave a beautiful answer...

"It is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed..."

- beautifulquotestoliveby

10. Forgiveness is a sign that the person who has wronged you means more to you than the wrong they have delt.

- Ben Greenhalgh

Dear friend, being the disciples or follower of Christ we are called to FORGIVE people. Let's look at our Master and Model of Forgiveness who forgave people even on the Cross when He was dying. Then how much do we need to FORGIVE? 

Everyone has Problems

A mother who had lost her only son went to the man of religion in her village and said: "Is there anything you can give me to reduce the pain that I feel?" "Yes," he said. "There is a wonderful thing you can do. I want you to go and get me a mustard seed from a home that has no problems. Such a mustard seed can ward off all problems. When you find it, bring it to me and I will use it to relieve your pain." So the mother started out and came to a big mansion. Nothing could possibly be wrong here! She knocked on the door, told what she was looking for, and they answered, "You've come to the wrong house." And then they told her all their problems. As she was listening to their problems, she thought, "I know something about problems... Maybe I can help these people with theirs." So she listened to them; and this helped people. She kept on searching for her magic mustard seed. But no matter where she went, she could not find that seed. Everyone everywhere had some kind of troubles.

But she really did find the magic mustard seed, because in trying to help others solve their problems, she forgot all about her own. 

Hey! friends do you want to solve your problems? If wanna do it just help others to solve their problems like the lady in story. You will forget all about your problems. 

Life is like an Echo

A little boy came running excitedly to his mother saying: "Mom, there is a boy out there in the woods who is mocking me. Everything I say he says after me. If I say: "Hello," he says: "Hello." When I say "Who are you?" he says: "Who are you?" "So I got mad and jumped over the fence and went into the woods to find him. But he wasn't anywhere. So I yelled, "I'll punch you in the nose." And he said the very same thing, exactly as I had said it." The boy's mother told him, "That is only an echo answering you Billy. If you had said: 'I love you,' it would have said the same to you." There is a similar story about a dog who went into a room full of mirrors. He eventually died of exhaustion trying to fight his mirrored 'enemies.' If he had only wagged his tail once, he would have had all of them wagging their tails in friendship.

Dear friends, Life is like an echo or a mirror: we get out of it what we put in. So today as we spent time doing many things let us be reminded that what we do is the result of what we learn. Let us learn to be good so that we may be good. Our actions are the echo of what we have learned and achieved in our daily lives. 

---

God Hidden in People

Hi friends, u might have heard this story ample of times before but every time  you read or hear a story you get a new inspiration, idea and you are challenged. Keeping this idea in mind I am  once again sending this story to you so that you may be inspired and challenged. 

Once God promised an elderly lady that he would visit her that day. So she got ready... She scrubbed and cleaned and polished and dusted and put everything in order. Then she sat down and waited for God to come. Suddenly someone knocked. She raced to the door and quickly pulled it open and what did she see but just a poor beggar standing outside. "No, not today," the lady said, "for heaven's sake get along with you... I am waiting for God to come any minute now... I can't be bothered with you." The beggar left as hungry as he had come. A bit later there was another knock. The lady opened the door even faster than before. A poor old man stood there. "Sorry," said the lady, "I can't take care of you today." With that she slammed the door in his face. Quite a bit later someone again knocked at the door. Again it was a ragged hungry beggar. She sent him off empty-handed and sat down to wait. Evening came on and still there was no sign of God. Finally she went to bed with a heavy heart. She dreamt that the good Lord had come to her and said, "I came to you three times today and all three times you threw me out."

Dear friends, there is an old custom in the monasteries of Europe. All guests, all people coming to the door, are treated well, because they believe in the old saying: "When a guest comes, Christ comes." So today Christ is gonna come to meet you and me in a form of a friend, guest, beggar, or person in need. So how ready are we to receive HIM? 

The Rosary - Simply Amazing!

Jim Castle
was tired when he boarded his 
plane in Cincinnati , Ohio , that night in 1981. The 
45-year-old management consultant had put on a week long series of business 
meetings and seminars, and now he sank gratefully into his seat ready for 
the flight home to Kansas City , Kansas . 


As more passengers 
entered, the place hummed with conversation, mixed with the sound of bags 
being stowed.. Then, suddenly, people fell silent. The quiet moved slowly up 
the aisle like an invisible wake behind a boat. Jim craned his head to see 
what was happening, and his mouth dropped open. 


Walking up the 
aisle were two nuns clad in simple white habits bordered in blue. He 
recognized the familiar face of one at once, the wrinkled skin, and the eyes 
warmly intent. This was a face he'd seen in newscasts and on the cover of 
TIME. The two nuns halted, and Jim realized that his seat companion was 
going to be Mother Teresa!

As the last few 
passengers settled in, Mother Teresa and her companion pulled out rosaries. 
Each decade of the beads was a different color, Jim noticed.. 
The decades represented various areas of the world, Mother Teresa told him 
later, and added, 'I pray for the poor and dying on each continent.' 




The airplane taxied 
to the runway and the two women began to pray, their voices a low murmur. 
Though Jim considered himself not a very religious Catholic who went to 
church mostly out of habit, inexplicably he found himself joining in. 



By the time they 
murmured the final prayer, the plane had reached cruising altitude. Mother 
Teresa turned toward him. For the first time in his life, Jim understood 
what people meant when they spoke of a person possessing an 'aura'. As she 
gazed at him, a sense of peace filled him; he could no more see it than he 
could see the wind but he felt it, just as surely as he felt a warm summer 
breeze. 


'Young man,' she 
inquired, 'do you say the rosary often?' 'No, not really,'  
he admitted. 


She took his hand, 
while her eyes probed his. Then she smiled.. 'Well, you will 
now.' And she dropped her rosary into his palm. 


An hour later Jim 
entered the Kansas City airport where he was met by his wife, 
Ruth. 'What in the world?' Ruth asked 
when she noticed the rosary in his hand. They kissed and Jim described his 
encounter. 


Driving home, he 
said. 'I feel as if I met a true sister of God.' 


Nine months later 
Jim and Ruth visited Connie, a friend of theirs for several years. Connie 
confessed that she'd been told she had ovarian cancer. 'The doctor says it's 
a tough case,' said Connie, 'but I'm going to fight it. I won't give up.' 
Jim clasped her hand. Then, after reaching into his pocket, he gently twined 
Mother Teresa's rosary around her fingers. He told  
her the story and said, 'Keep it with you Connie.. It may 
help.' 


Although Connie 
wasn't Catholic, her hand closed willingly around the 
small  plastic beads. 'Thank you,' she 
whispered. 'I hope I can return it.' 


More than a year 
passed before Jim saw Connie again. This time her face was  
glowing, she hurried toward him and handed him the rosary. 



'I carried it with 
me all year,' she said. 'I've had surgery and have been on chemotherapy, 
too. Last month, the doctors did second-look surgery, and the tumor's 
gone.. Completely!' Her eyes met Jim's. 'I knew it 
was time to give the rosary back.' 


In the fall of 
1987, Ruth's sister, Liz, fell into a deep depression after her divorce.... She 
asked Jim if she could borrow the rosary, and when he sent  
it, she hung it over her bedpost in a small velvet bag. At 
night I held on to it, just physically held on. I was so lonely and afraid,' 
she says, 'yet  when I gripped that rosary, I 
felt as if I held a loving hand.' 


Gradually, Liz 
pulled her life together, and she mailed the rosary back. 'Someone else may 
need it,' she said. 


Then one night in 
1988, a stranger telephoned Ruth. She'd heard about the rosary from a 
neighbor and asked if she could borrow it to take to the hospital where her 
mother lay in a coma. The family hoped the rosary might help their mother 
die peacefully. A few days later, the woman returned the beads. 'The nurses 
told me a coma patient can still hear,' she said, 'so I explained to my 
mother that I had Mother Teresa's rosary and that when I gave it to her she 
could let go; it would be all rosary in her hand. Right away, we saw her 
face relax. The lines smoothed out until she looked so peaceful, so young.' 
The woman's voice caught. 'A few minutes later she was  
gone.' 


Fervently, she 
gripped Ruth's hands. 'Thank you.' 


Is there special 
power in those humble beads? Or is the power of the human spirit simply 
renewed in each person who borrows the rosary? Jim only 
knows  that requests continue to come, often 
unexpectedly. He always responds though, whenever he lends the rosary, 'When 
you're through needing it, send  it back. 
Someone else may need it.' 


Jim's own life has 
changed, too, since his unexpected meeting on the airplane. When he realized 
Mother Teresa carries everything she owns in a small bag, he made an effort 
to simplify his own life.


'I try to remember 
what really counts - not money or titles or possessions, but the way we love 
others,' he says. 

Dear friends very many of us do recite rosary daily and at times it may look like a mere routine for many. But there is power when we roll or fingers on the beads. We come in union with Christ and His Mother. As we saw how people's life changed through the rosary may we also change and change others life through our daily recitation of the rosary. 

MAY GOD BLESS YOU 
ABUNDANTLY, MAY MOTHER MARY ASK HER SON JESUS TO SHOWER  
YOU WITH GRACE. 


Please feel free to 
pass this mail on, especially to all those in despair so  
that they might know that they are not alone in their hour of 
need.. 


The reason I sent 
you this mail is because I know the power of the prayers of these simple 
beads and I wanted to share it with you. Every sacrifice has 
a fruitful reward. Every failure has a second chance. 



We only have to be strong thru God's grace and persevere in life's many tests!

May GOD bless you always.